What makes the boat change it’s course into brighter waters? It feels random or circumstance or lucky, but deep down I know that my million little actions of self-care set me up for the wind to shift my sails.
If you want your life to change, you can’t keep doing the same things. You have to change.
And back to “If you want your life to improve, you have to start with yourself.” Oh, yes, that.
In the past months I’ve felt like an onion, eagerly peeling back layers and throwing them off like a too-warm coat on an early spring day. That shedding created space; physical and mental, for new things to arrive.
Today I feel the chinook blowing, the early warm breath of spring. Just as that break in the weather and warm sunshine feels good to the body, so it feels to my soul. This early spring has triggered a shift in my reclusive, retreating self. I feel like the finches, arriving to celebrate warmer days ahead. I have optimism, dare I say it? Joy!
As I scan my body for the telltale barometer of my senses I feel a subterranean movement propelling me forward. I put into action a project I’ve been dreaming about for some time, the puzzle pieces falling together one by one. This project is all my own, inspired by a childhood storybook. Shopping, sewing, painting, gathering, collaborating and planning; all the elements come together on a perfect magical day. I have an out of body experience photographing in this magical place. I am my best self. I’ve tapped into my inner core genius. I am in the magical trance of the Zone. I know this is my calling and it’s too soon to let it go.
Doors are opening now. I laugh at the perfection of it. The beauty of my dream is coming into the light. My layers are peeled and cast aside, forgotten. The spring air brushes my new tender skin bringing it alive again after the long dull winter.
Magical doors in unexpected places, each one is a suprise and a delight, but all the same, it feels inevitable. My hope is returned. I am planting seeds again, joyfully, with utmost faith that these seeds will flourish. I look back to my Winter which, dare I say, lasted almost a year and I see how worthy that time was. I see the investment in my creativity, health and well-being paying off. Little things, done daily, bring great progress. I look back at myself with a loving nod. I find gratitude with myself for not giving up, for trying, for taking care, for letting go.
For preparing the soil for Spring. Possibilities are plentiful.
Let the sun shine in.