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Fear and Excitement

Fear and excitement come from the same place. Think of a roller coaster. Trying new things can be scary. Well, even if they’re not really scary, they can be uncomfortable. Meeting new people, learning something new, sharing yourself to others who don’t know you yet. Kind of goes back to the days of being the new kid in class, or starting a new job. I created two columns and starting listing words that defined what Fear and Excitement meant to me.

Fear: resist, comfortable, no change, obstacles, lack, judgement

Excitement: desire, thrill, adrenaline, quickening, fun, new things, change, abundance, creativity, growth, friendships

When put this way it is easier to choose excitement over fear. It is easier to say yes when a strong offer is made. There is an incredible, yet very human, human being named Patti Digh who I found in a bookstore, then online, then took writing workshops from. Patti made a strong offer one day: “Who would come to a grown-up camp if I organized it?” I said YES. Grown up camp? Cool. Well, Patti did organize it and I said YES before I could change my mind or practice “safe behavior.” As part of the entry form Patti gave another strong offer; “Who would want to present a SPARK presentation on the topic of your choice for ten minutes? Submit your entry and it will be voted on.” Again I said YES before I could change my mind. Easy and fun, I would talk on The Year of Me. Time has gone by and other feelings came up. It would be easier to stay home. I probably won’t get it and that would be okay. It would be more comfortable not to be a speaker.

Then I got picked! The Year of Me got picked! I am now a SPARK speaker at Patti Digh’s camp! Excitement took over. I get to share my message, I get to meet new friends, I get to travel somewhere I’ve never been before, I get to be inspired by other inspired souls. I get to hang out with Patti Digh!

I am currently having a personal Year of Me and am true to the calendar rounding into fall and harvest time. The dormancy, the seed planting, the nourishing of the dream have blossomed and are starting to fruit. My personal photography project of photographing my niece in a vintage dress as a Storybook character has blossomed into new friends and photography projects in the Vintage Dance world. Yes, fear is with me. Yes, I know once my preparation is done and I show up at the event my light will shine bright and excitement will flourish. The photo above is of dancers dancing the¬†Hungoise, which is claimed to be “joy unconfined!” I can’t think of a more fitting image than the feeling one gets from saying no to fear and saying yes to excitement!


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