I thought this stuff only happened to other people. One day we realized that we were the other people now. Outwardly we had two people in our family with cancer. My sister had a daughter and a dad sick at one time. I took on the role of helper. Before this there were the inward stressors of business burnout and a four-year-old asking for more mommy-time.
I want you, momma.
Breathing was difficult, but one grace remained. We felt lucky. We had today, each other and a little time. I dropped everything in order to be present. I blamed my business for distracting me from the importance of life. I realized with pinpoint clarity what is most important, those we love.
I checked in with my feelings by reporting that I felt like cardboard. My dad had died and I was afloat, not good for much. I knew what I didn’t want, but what did I want? How could I change my life to reflect my values first? Thus began the winter of The Year of Me, burrowing deep and reflecting inward for answers.
I realize now that I’m not that unique. Many people have stories of loss, heartbreak or burnout. Even more have hauntings of restlessness; a knowing that there has to be more. That’s where I hope to connect. I hope that my story can help others reveal their search for a better way. I hope my story can be a beacon of hope. The Year of Me is not really a year. It is a way of life. Moving with the cycles of the seasons gives us a structure to move naturally through our growth cycles.
My Year of Me initiation took place in 2010. That year I had the furthest to travel. From way down low to a pretty nice high. Since then, I consider my years to be fine-tuning. I recently heard Wayne Dyer advise us to be grateful for hard times in life. Tom Shadyac expands on this by saying “Life is like a play and we are the characters. Without challenges life would be a flat line. Without challenges to overcome, there would be no growth and the play would be boring!” It is hard to appreciate that while you are in it, but as you travel your path the picture becomes clearer.